A couple of weeks ago, I promised you my highly scientific findings on how to vacation successfully.

With children, that is —because vacation after kids is an entirely different animal.

You don’t just pack a bag, board a plane, and somehow... vacation just happens.

Now you arrive somewhere beautiful only to discover you're still parenting but without your usual routines, supplies, or places to hide. You might even find yourself questioning whether this whole shebang is worth it.

Well, after nine years of field research, I have some findings.

I've finally stopped trying to recreate our pre-kid vacations. I've realized that what makes a vacation memorable isn't usually the destination. It is these four things:

🍽️ Easy Food
Things that come together in 15 minutes, tops.

🍦 Unlimited Ice Cream
Yes, really. It surprisingly works; read why below.

🎵 Give Your Senses a Vacation
The hotel trick we've started stealing.

🏡 Borrowing Other People's Homes
Why HomeExchange changed more than the way we travel.

Let me explain.

I refuse to spend vacation chopping onions.

My version of vacationing is to sit beside a body of water, read a book, and occasionally finish a conversation with another adult.

So the less time I spend planning, preparing and cleaning up after meals, the more vacation feels like vacation.

On the way to wherever we are staying, I usually stop at Sprouts and buy things that are already halfway prepared: marinated chicken, kebabs, steak, salad, vegetables that need very little chopping, yogurt, fruit, granola, tortillas, avocados and beans. A dressing that works double duty as a dipping sauce.

We are a big taco-and-burrito family, so those ingredients can become several meals without much thought. A package of frozen tuna can quickly become fish tacos. Marinated steak can fill a burrito, and leftovers complete a salad. Yogurt, granola, honey and fruit take care of breakfast.

The goal is food that contains actual nourishment but can be put on a pan, cooked and eaten without turning the vacation house into my second workplace.

I’ve been thinking about putting together a little PDF with our vacation shopping list, a collection of easy recipes, and the five-day meal plan we tend to use—with room for a couple of lunches and dinners out.

Would that be useful? Reply to this email and let me know that you’d like it. If a handful of you are interested, I’ll put it together and send it to everyone who asked.

Our family has vacation rules.

There are three:

Once those conditions have been met, the children may eat as much ice cream as they want.

Yes, you read that correctly. That can mean three bowls of ice cream. And that is fine.

There is a pool. They can jump it out. They can swim it out.

This is not medical advice. It is part of my highly scientific vacation research. 🔬 😂

(For anyone wondering... yes, I still read nutrition labels. I try to buy ice cream that's actually made with cream and has a reasonably close to 1:1 ratio of fat to added sugar. Old habits die hard.)

Here, Vesna was on what I think was her third bowl of vanilla. Leo was cannonballing into the pool for approximately the fiftieth time that afternoon. I was pretending to read a book while mostly watching them.

And I remember thinking...

"Oh, thiiis is vacation."

The funny thing is, once ice cream stopped being something we negotiated...we almost stopped negotiating it. There's a big extravagant "yes." The kids know exactly what unlocks it.

In full transparency, I am a hotel nerd. I had a successful hotel management career a couple of lifetimes ago. That made me a total snob for guest experience and design that makes one swoon.

The one thing I've completely stolen from amazing hotels is the understanding that vacation atmosphere is made through the senses. There is music in the lobby, something beautiful burning or diffusing in the background, and a feeling that someone thought about how the place would meet you.

Every hotel you've ever loved smelled a certain way. Smell triggers that memory.

If you have a small oil diffuser, pack it. Bring an essential oil that smells like vacation to you - for me it is woodsy cedar and sandalwood; or fresh cardamom - put drops in your diffuser, switch it on, and let the house begin to smell intentional.

Every hotel you've ever loved had music playing.

At breakfast. By the pool. At sunset. The music is part of what tells your body: You are somewhere different now. I love that. Somatically.

When we arrive at a vacation house, we put music on before we have finished unpacking. Before we've figured out where the coffee mugs are. Music goes on.
Almost immediately, the place stops feeling like a temporary rental and begins to feel like somewhere we are meant to be.

Here are two playlists to begin with:

Not a Spotify fan? Here is a Tidal link.

A small PSA: Besides reportedly paying artists more fairly, Tidal has a stronger policy around AI-generated music. And those Spotify ads???!!! Ugh...
Okay, off my soapbox and

onto the last—but certainly not least—vacation magic trick:

Since having kids we've become big fans of HomeExchange.

Honestly... I picked it for the affordable vacations and fell in love with the houses. 😂

More specifically... I've become completely fascinated by other moms. Or perhaps more accurately... the way moms organize their homes.

Sorry, dads. I know some of you are brilliant organizers.
But more often than not, I find myself wandering through someone else's kitchen thinking,
"Well... that's genius."
A drawer with an extension cord inside so every device charges out of sight.
The most satisfying art supply organization you've ever seen.
Hooks exactly where wet towels naturally land.
A cup shelf little people can actually reach.

Every exchange sends me home with one tiny idea that quietly makes our own house work better.

And then there's my favorite unexpected side effect.

Twice a year, another family comes to stay in our home. Which means... I clean it. Properly. 😂
Not because I'm trying to impress anyone. (Well, maaaybe.) But I genuinely want another family to arrive and feel at home.
So I clear the counters. Organize the drawers. Finally deal with that pile that's been politely pretending not to exist. And then I get to enjoy that version of our home before they even arrive.

Apparently I'm much more motivated by the thought of another mom opening my junk drawer than by looking at it myself. I don't know what that says about me. But I'll take the clean house.

Looking back...

I don't think our vacations have become easier.

I think we've simply become better at noticing what actually makes them beautiful.
Music while making breakfast.
Kids dripping across the kitchen floor after one more swim.
Ice cream melting faster than they can eat it.
A house that doesn’t feel like a rental, because it is already someone’s home.

Maybe vacation isn’t really about escaping your life.
Maybe it’s just arranging it a little differently for a while.

Love,

Vanda

P.S. If you've ever been curious about HomeExchange, here's my referral link.

It takes a little more planning than booking an Airbnb, but it has completely changed the way our family travels. If you decide to try it, I believe you'll receive two extra nights to get started, and we'll both get a few extra GuestPoints.